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The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully, by Frank Ostaseski
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Review
“Frank is a pioneer in mindful care at the end of life. He embodies the wisdom and compassion he shares in these magical and compelling pages. You feel it instantly, because it is real, and it is really about you and your life.†―Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of MBSR and author of Full Catastrophe Living and Coming to Our Senses“I love this book and its gentle, radical, charming, wild and comforting truths about how to live and die and be. It may well be the most important book you read this year.†―Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author of Help, Thanks, Wow"[This] beautiful book softened my heart and taught me things I did not know I needed to learn. As The Five Invitations shows, death is more than a medical event. It happens within a web of relationships. Frank Ostaseski shows us how to act―and simply be―with a skillful heart, when supporting those in our care." ―Katy Butler, author of The Art of Dying Well and Knocking on Heaven's Door "This is a wise, lucid, beautiful book that will help you be less afraid and more alive. Read it as soon as you can; it will change you." ―Dr. Lucy Kalanithi, widow of the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir When Breath Becomes Air “I keep this book by my bedside. It’s the best, most true, penetrating advice I know. How to live, how to die. Written with clear, engaging prose―it’s unbeatable. Do not waste your life―get it!†―Natalie Goldberg, author of Let the Whole Thundering World Come Home and Writing Down the Bones "This book distills a compassionate shepherd's lifelong experience with death and dying." ―Bill Moyers, journalist, social commentator, and producer of On Our Own terms: Moyers on Death and Dying“These moving teachings can open your heart and change your life. For decades, Frank has been a compassionate guide to thousands of people facing death. In The Five Invitations, he shares his timeless wisdom, beautifully, as a blessing to all.†―Jack Kornfield, international Buddhist teacher and author of A Path With Heart"Written from the heart, Ostaseski's experiences and observations are invaluable." ―Boing Boing“As a physician, I often work with people who view death as the ultimate isolating experience, solitary confinement for eternity―the ultimate dark terror. In this extraordinary, eloquent, and powerful book, Frank Ostaseski reveals how we can transform this darkness into a bright light (brilliant in every way), a return to the source, the ultimate in intimacy, healing, and meaning―the essence of love. What could be better than that?†―Dean Ornish, M.D. and New York Times bestselling author of The Spectrum"Our capacity to live and love fully awakens as we open our hearts to death. Frank Ostaseski guides us in this opening with a luminous wisdom derived from his own full immersion in the journey. Please give yourself to The Five Invitations; these teachings reveal the mystery and beauty of our essential Being.†―Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge“Stephen always had great trust in Frank’s good heart. As his teacher and longtime friend he encouraged Frank to write and share his wisdom on conscious living and conscious dying. Finally, we have this gift to the world. This book is a beautiful, loving gift and a manifestation of a lifetime of selfless service and compassionate care.†―Ondrea Levine coauthor with Stephen Levine of Who Dies: An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying“Frank Ostaseski is one of the great contemporary teachers of ancient Buddhist wisdom and practice. Over the years, his teachings have informed both my meditative and clinical practices. Now, through The Five Invitations a broader audience can benefit from Frank’s insights, soulful perspectives, and practical guidance. What a gift!†―Ira Byock M.D., international leader in palliative care, Chief Medical Officer for the Institute for Human Caring of Providence Health and Services, and author of The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living and The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life.“The Five Invitations is a remarkable book, one that is deeply needed by all of us. Five invitations to live our lives fully, in the present, all the way through. Frank Ostaseski, whose journey spans over three decades of creating and participating in the hospice movement, imparts timeless wisdom that should inform our every day: How to embrace uncertainty and live with joy, peace, and acceptance. This is not a book about death, it’s a book about life and living. Buy it, share it, live it―I know I will.†―Henry S. Lodge, M.D., Robert Burch Family Professor of Medicine, and coauthor of the Younger Next Year series“A powerful book by my good friend Frank Ostaseski, who has brought together wisdom and compassion in his life and his long years of work with the dying. We will all be enriched, inspired, and edified by his extraordinary book on how facing death can enrich our life.†―Joan Halifax Roshi, Ph.D., founder and abbot at the Upaya Zen Center, and author of Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death“As a physician and neurosurgeon, I have learned that those who have truly lived are those that understand death as an integral part of life. In Frank Ostaseski’s profound book, The Five Invitations, he shares this reality, giving us insights and wisdom on the nature of dying but more importantly on how to truly live.†―James R. Doty, M.D., Professor of Neurosurgery, founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, Stanford University School of Medicine, and New York Times bestselling author of Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart“Frank is a very dear friend. I have worked in the field of death and dying close to Frank and this book represents the distillation of many years of his efforts. He shows us that if you are to die consciously, there’s no time like the present to prepare. This book is a loving, compassionate reminder that the best preparation for death is a life fully lived†―Ram Dass, international spiritual teacher and author of the bestseller Be Here Now and Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying“Frank inspires us to live with joy by fully embracing all facets of life including our dying. With heartfelt compassion and wisdom gathered over thirty years as a Buddhist teacher and hospice founder he helps us understand that love matters most.†―Chade-Meng Tan, Google’s “Jolly Good Fellow†and author of Joy on Demand and Search Inside Yourself“Exquisitely profound and gut-wrenchingly real, I’m not sure a wiser book has been written in the digital age. Frank’s storytelling helped me to see that to step fully into life we need to embrace death as an adventure rather than an adversary.†―Chip Conley, author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Equations and head of Global Hospitality and Strategy at AirBnB“How to die and how to be with the dying are questions everyone faces. Here are sharp, insightful answers from one of the great end-of-life counselors.†―Stewart Brand, creator of the Whole Earth Catalog“This is a gem of a book! With a lifetime of inspiring service and deep spiritual wisdom to draw from, Frank Ostaseski has given us all a gift straight from the heart.†―James Baraz, author of Awakening Joy: Ten Steps to Happiness and cofounding teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center“Frank Ostaseski speaks with clear wisdom and deep compassion. Sharing stories and insights from his decades of working with people at the very end of their lives, his ultimate revelation has to do with how meaningful, in both our living and our dying, is the capacity to be open to and present in grace. His words offer much worthy of contemplation and his service to all of us is worthy of deep respect.†―Kathleen Dowling Singh, author of Grace in Dying: How We Are Transformed Spiritually As We Die and The Grace in Aging: Awaken As You Grow Old“This book is deep, right and rare. The compelling lessons shared in The Five Invitations are valuable to people at any phase of life. Whether facing your own imminent death or that of a loved one, navigating a crisis, or looking to embrace and enjoy living your life more fully, you will find the wisdom lovingly offered in these pages inspiring and enlightening.†―SARK, coauthor and artist of Succulent Wild Love"Every sentence in this book is written with a velvet pen from deep within Frank Ostaseski’s heart. The authenticity of his life and his work is on every page. It is a sharing that, ultimately, our own reality is love and that when we remember that, fear has a way of disappearing by becoming valueless. It takes a lot of courage to write a book that is so beautifully transparent." ―Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., cofounder of Attitudinal Healing and author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear and Diane Cirincione-Jampolsky, Ph.D., cofounder of Attitudinal Healing International and coauthor of Love Is The Answer “[Frank Ostaseski] has found the space where awareness of death is revealed as a powerful elixir for living more abundantly, and he shares that secret brilliantly in this landmark book. If you want to live fully and free from fear, read it and give yourself and those who love you a rare gift!†―Robert A. F. Thurman, Professor of Religion, Columbia University, and author of Infinite Life
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About the Author
FRANK OSTASESKI has dedicated his life to service. He is the cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, founder of the Metta Institute, a Buddhist teacher, an international lecturer, and a leading voice in contemplative end-of-life care. He has been honored by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and AARP named him one of America’s Fifty Most Innovative People. He has offered seminars at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, and Heidelberg University, and he teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. His work has been featured on the Bill Moyers PBS series On Our Own Terms and The Oprah Winfrey Show, among other programs. The Five Invitations is his first book.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Flatiron Books; Reprint edition (January 22, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1250076749
ISBN-13: 978-1250076748
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
237 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#13,947 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Many years I ago I was a young busy mother, curious and interested in volunteering with those with chronic illnesses or approaching death. My dream was to volunteer at Bailey Boushay House in Seattle. (first hospice to welcome AIDS patients in the nation and now a hospice for AIDS and those with terminal illnesses) Many years later with kids grown and gone, I set out with a plan. That plan involved volunteering with Bailey Boushay House, returning to school in healthcare (Occupational Therapy) and enrolling in the End of Life Program at the Metta Institute (Frank Ostaseski, founder). I bought Franks' "Being a Compassionate Companion" CD as I embarked on my journey. Having listened to the CD, narrated by Frank and then attending the End of Life Practitioner Program, I can tell you, this book has so much "voice"! IT is like being in the same room having a conversation or lecture with this author. I think about what the movie "To Sir, with Love" taught us about life lessons that still resonate today, well THE FIVE INVITATIONS takes us on a journey where the "approach" to death is actually approachable and the birthing of new insight into the end of life is sorely needed in this world. I usually give away my books after reading them , not this one....it will be reread over and over. As I closed the last chapter, my eyes filled with tears......this book touched me in a deep and profound way......it leaves you "okay" with not having all the answers and a up close personal feel with a subject our culture avoids...
When I was 12, my mom died of cancer. It spread from her lungs to her brain, briefly going into remission to cruelly give us hope before slowly killing her. For years, I was mad at the world because of this and I turned that anger inward on myself. It was a poisonous way to live, mostly devoid of joy or love. No one could understand how I felt, I thought, so I wouldn't try to explain it to them. Over the last few years, I've learned how to stop poisoning myself. After finishing Frank's book last week, I have a whole new set of tools to use death to embrace life. I also have a new view: We all live and we all die, therefore we all have been touched by death in our own ways. If we haven't been touched yet, we will be. This, to me, means that love and compassion are the ways forward for humanity, even with our enemies or people we've fallen out with.Perhaps I sound like a flit yogi or Woodstock washout, but I'm OK with that if it means I don't have to be owned by pain and fear of death. I know that my mom is within me still in some way, even if just as a lovely memory. Perhaps you can catch of my same high and also gain some new tools for living more fully and with more love from Frank's book. It's very good - I found myself laughing, crying, and rapt by Frank's stories and knowledge at different points of the book. It's a very sweet, helpful, and compassionate book. Frank, who worked has at an end-of-life hospice in San Francisco for decades, has an intimate relationship with death. You'd think this would make him callous or cynical like my childhood self, but quite the opposite is true: he embraces death as reality and is therefore able to live more fully.You can embrace death for a more full life, too. Any of us who have had a relative die might remember their regrets or sorrows, the "I wish I could have.." or "I'm sad I won't be able to..." before death carries them away. We likely know what our own wishes and sorrows are; why wait until the end to address them? Why not learn from our loved ones?Frank's methods for using death to live a more full life are sound. "Don't wait" is his first invitation, and I'm sure we've all had opportunities and moments pass by while we said "Hm, maybe later." Well guess what? This happens with life, too. Don't wait. Frank's anecdotes - sometimes sweet, sometimes gut-wrenching - will help you see how his invitations have worked over the years. I was touched by the many people who died next to Frank, all who seemed to show an immense, seemingly improbable strength in the face of death. Frank's message: we can show this strength in life, too, but it may not necessarily be what we think of as "strength." Vulnerability can be strength, he writes. So can acceptance.Even if all you get from this book is the fact that death is part of life - one that shouldn't be treated as life's deranged cousin - then I think you'll have your money's worth. However, you'll get more than that.A very good book. Read, and then live. But be careful doing both at the same time- after all, we're trying to accept death here, not run toward it.
I was captivated by The Five Invitations, reading it cover-to-cover in a 24-hour period. As I got closer to the end, I found myself reading much slower because I just didn't want it to end. I was inspired by the stories of people both young and old at the end of their lives. The part that impressed me was that it was not just stories of inspiration on how I can embrace my days, but also I found wisdom as a new mom, and how to savor these moments with my little one more. There was a chapter about grief that hit me in a way that was very profound and moving, it opened up a place in my heart about a the loss of a dear friend many years ago, that just hadn't healed. Reading Frank's book gave me a new understanding on how to "be" with that loss and feel complete with it's incompleteness. Thank you for your beautiful book.
The Five Invitations are a guide to a life well-lived. For those who work with people at the end of life or with chronic illness, the book has obvious value. But this book is so much more - it's for all of us.Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a busy attorney, Frank's Five Invitations invite you to live fully, be present in your own life, and to completely immerse yourself in what it means to be human.I first met Frank when I was looking for a way to deepen my work with my clients - cancer patients who were being treated at a large NCI cancer center. What I learned certainly helped me with my work, but the unexpected "extra" was that I began to experience changes in myself and in all of my life as a result of these profound teachings. Now this book is available to share Frank's wisdom more widely. Give yourself a great gift and accept Frank's invitation to "have a cup of tea" with death. A deeper, kinder, more loving, compassionate life awaits you.
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